


One.

by palegingerade



Category: The Young Ones (TV 1982)
Genre: Arguing, Commitment, Drinking to Cope, Drunken Confessions, Explicit Language, First Anniversary, Firsts, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Minor Character Death, One Shot, Reminiscing, Rick's Diary Is A Great Help, Romantic Fluff, So Wrong It's Right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 06:45:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4656696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palegingerade/pseuds/palegingerade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He's so bloody selfish, the bastard! We had plans! I can't believe he'd forget what today is!"</p><p>It had been a year since their first amazing night together and Rick hadn't looked back since. He's furious when Vyvyan appears to have forgotten all about it, but soon feels terrible and tries his best to make amends.</p><p>  Vyvyan discovers he's now totally alone and probably all the better for it! He doesn't need anyone anyway. And he's definitely not going to get completely drunk and all girly and serious and do what Rick thinks he's about to do, is he?</p><p> </p><p>The one with The One...</p>
            </blockquote>





	One.

**Author's Note:**

> I did kill a character off, but in my universe she isn't a very nice character so it's not as bad as it seems :) All will be good in the end.

Rick quickly thumbed through the wrinkled faded pages, stamping angrily on the floorboard in an attempt to put it back in it's place and unsettling even more dust. His old bedroom could have done with a serious tidy but that would just have to wait for now. He had far more important things on his mind at the moment than something as boring as that. Tripping over the pulled back rug and landing face down on the bed, he remained buried in his old diary and well and truly in the eye of the storm of his tantrum until the words became clearer and the red mist ascended.

He didn't care if it was too soppy! It WAS a big deal. Massive. A bloody achievement worth ruddy celebrating!

One year.

Twelve months. Fifty - two weeks. Three hundred and sixty - five days, and probably the same number of fights and glorious make - up shags, and Vyvyan had forgot.

He worked backwards, stopping on this very day last year. The unforgettable day he'd somehow managed to find himself in Vyvyans bedroom and he'd slammed him against the wall and shoved his tongue down his throat. The memory of their first kiss - his first ever real kiss, was enough to fogive his anger momentarily when he read over said passage in his diary. He'd had lots of other firsts with Vyvyan since then: A first date. (Driving to college the long way round so they had extra time alone and Vyvyan could rest a hand on his leg definitely counted as a date. Especially when they spent so long snogging in the back seat before class that his hard on would last until lunchtime.) The first time sharing a bed with someone who was not only still there when he woke up, but who was wrapped around him so naked and horny and perfect they both hadn't bothered to even try and stop doing it all day until the others came home in the evening. They had little choice but to get up and dressed eventually when Mike and Neil were in the house yet often fell asleep exhausted on the sofa before Neil could made a start on supper. It was also the first time he'd ever truly cared about anyone but himself, so much so that he would do pretty much anything Vyvyan asked, and knew - without question, that he would do the same. The very idea of such a sadistically violent punk being in love with a sensitive - yet still pretty anarchic - poet would never have worked on paper, but in real life it had. In real life he adored Vyvyan and strangely so did his parents. It was the first time he'd ever introduced anyone special to his Mum and Dad, and according to them; the first time he'd done something right for a change. 

It was lunacy. Compleate and utter madness even, and Rick had to still pinch himself to check he wasn't dreaming as he reminisced through his increasingly frantic writing. 

After losing his virginity so suddenly like that he probably should have been shocked that it was with someone he'd known all this time, someone like Vyvyan, but apparently it had all been so normal and felt so natural it was the best thing in the world. After discovering Vyvyans annoying contribution at the end of his diary entry he had never imagined for a second as they led there that night; breathless, covered in sweat, soaked to the bone and still licking traces of vodka from damp trembling skin, that they would last this long. Deep down he always had thoughts niggling away in his head that Vyvyan would get bored of him eventually like he did with most things or their relationship would fizzle out way before an anniversary, yet somehow it hadn't. They hadn't split up or murdered each other or fought too horrendously for one whole entire year. He had never been happier or more contented in his life. 

And Vyvyan had forgot!

He glanced at the corner of the page again to double check the date but instead of getting things wrong like he always seemed to lately, this time he was right on the money. 

Today was the ninth of June. 

Their anniversary was the ninth of June. 

The date that was so ingrained in his memory it might as well have been carved into his forehead with a pik-axe, and a date he'd remember always unlike his so - called "other half."

~I am not a virgin. I AM NOT A VIRGIN! Mike's party was so AMAZING, AND Vyvyan is so amazing! I don't know what's happening between us yet but he was so jealous it was blimmin' hilarious! Jealous of Mary and jealous of Mr. Morrison and ahhhh there's so much I want to write but I can't find the words coz I can't stop thinking how amazing it felt when he finally threw me on the bed and stuck his tongue......~

He tried to read the rest of the page but it had been crossed out so illegibly it was impossible. Underneth it, in mangled childish scribbles, was this instead:

~I might not be a virgin anymore but I'm still a whiny girly git - face! Mike's party was quite good, although I spent most of it ignoring Vyvyan who was so pissed.. (crossed out.) Gorgeous.. (crossed out.) So fantastically well hung that I'll probably need to sit on the rickety chair with two enormous cushions under my bottom from now on.. (smiley face.) I'M SO ANNOYING he'd rather steal all my money and go to the pub without me instead of staying in bed and shagging me again. It's no wonder everyone thinks I'm a bastard! I solemnly swear I'll make it up to him in kind on the kitchen table every morning until college starts.. (crossed out.) Until next year.. (crossed out.) Until the very end of time! Signed, Rick.. (crossed out.) Signed, Prick!.~

He scoffed and stuffed the diary back under the floorboards and slammed his bedroom door closed as he started downstairs. Obviously he hadn't meant as much to Vyvyan as he first thought. Perhaps it HAD been nothing but a meaningless fling to him after all, and now Vyvyan had taken what he needed he'd thrown him away, discarded like yesterday's congealed lentil casserole! His feelings remained one hundred percent real and were now so intense that Vyvyans scowling stupid face was sometimes all he could think of for days. Seeing the dull and meaningless world through his eyes for a year was much more exciting. It had been flung upside down and spun violently on its axis now they were together. Everything he'd ever known was better, enriched in glorious technicolour with Vyvyan next to him. 

He still couldn't bring himself to write much about sex. That hadn't changed. It was still...indescribable. Far too private for anyone else to read, and probably too good to put into words anyway. They had done everything it was possible for two people to do, in every way and every position. Vyvyan had shown him things he never knew existed, made him feel so good he would never get enough, and instead of staying in bed all day and doing what they did best, he was alone, confused and angry and ruddy well devestated.

One year for Cliffs sake! 

Vyvyan didn't even have the common decency to be there in his arms when he'd woke up this morning. His car hadn't been parked in the street when he'd raced to secretly peek out of Neil's bedroom window, and now it was nearly lunchtime and he still wasn't home. 

He paced round and round the kitchen table, livid, still in his bare feet and pyjamas and wondering how and when he'd managed to get things so wrong when Mike arrived back from the newsagents empty handed. It was a Saturday. Mike always had a stack of newspapers he would spend all day reading on a Saturday, but today he just stopped and stared at him from the doorway and Rick turned on his heels and stared back.

"Didn't he say anything at all to you when he left? I can't BELIEVE he'd forget what today is. It's just typical of him not to care about me! He doesn't care about anyone but himself. Just you wait Mike, he's going to get such a ruddy big piece of my mind..."

"Rick, you might want to stop there..."

"Why? Why should I? He's so bloody selfish, the bastard! We had plans!" He yelled, slamming his tea down so hard the contents lept from the mug and gushed hot down his chest. Mike just grinned as he huffed and wrung out the waistband of his pyjama pants.

"Ah well, best not to cry over spilt tea eh Rick?" He tutted again, Mike continued, "Plans? To do what exactly? Both of you are more broke than a really...really.. broke thing..."

"Well, erm, actually never mind. It's probably better if you don't ask about that." He said, grinning dreamily, forgetting he was still meant to be angry with Vyvyan as Mike rolled his eyes and sat down at the table.

"Okay, fair enough. Say no more about it. Why dont you sit down with me here for a second? 

Mike looked serious, very serious, and for the first time ever he did as he asked, throwing the dishcloth over the spillage and sitting down in Vyvyans chair with an equally serious thump. "Why? What's happened? Mike? Y-you're scaring me..."

"He didn't forget about you. He had to leave early to go to the hospital and he didn't want to wake you. He said you really needed your beauty sleep." Mike looked as if he was about to smile but stopped himself. "It's his mum."

"Oh no. What has she done now!?" He said, sighing over dramatically as Mike shook his head.

"No, nothing. That's just it, Rick. She's dead."

He gasped, not even blinking as his mind raced and the foul taste of regret caught in his throat. "Oh. God. I'm just, just a great big giant lavatory aren't I?"

"Something like that." Mike nodded.

"I need to go. Where is he? I need to go." Mike was still looking at him, smiling a slightly empathetic smile and he stood up and pulled on his boots, ignoring the fact he was still wearing pyjamas.

"Well it's just after opening hours so where do you think he is?" Rick was already fighting the flannel shirt over his head and grabbing for the nearest items of clothing that were drip drying on the radiator as Mike carried on. "Erm, Rick, they're Neil's?"

"So?! I don't care. I NEED TO GO. Neil won't mind and if he does tell him my dress is still hanging in the wardrobe if he wants it...but if he doesn't fancy it being ripped clean off his chest and having what is, quite frankly, an obscene amount of sex then he probably shouldn't wear it infront of Vyv. It took me an hour to sew what was left of the underskirt together after the last time." He smirked, rolling up the long legs of the horrendously pattered trousers until they bunched around his ankles. He hoped Neil wouldn't wear the dress to get his own back on him like he did last time he 'borrowed' his things, stretching it all out of proportion with his tall willowy frame. He needed the dress, but not as much as he needed Vyvyan to see him in it. He liked to wear it tight fitted and snug so it clung to every soft curve of his stomach, so tight the ribbons were binding his waist and so tight that Vyvyan had plenty to grab hold of and yank when they were.......For Cliffs sake! This really wasn't the time! Mike just rolled his eyes again as he dashed to grab a jacket from under the stairs and bolted out the front door. 

*****

When Rick hurried to the end and turned the corner of their street he saw the familiar lone figure sat outside the pub and felt even worse about his earlier outburst as he fought to catch his breath. The Kebab and Calculator looked even more run down and derelict during the day and the sight of Vyvyan, his much stronger and furiously dependable "other half," with his head in his hand frantically smoking, made pangs of fear snap wildly in his chest. He didn't know much but from what Vyvyan had told him he knew he and his mum had never been close, not even when he was little. Most of the time when she had bothered to have anything to do with him she had been horrible and he'd hated her right back with a passion, but she was still his mum and that had to count for something? He had never lost anyone that mattered that much. The only person who really mattered to him was now totally alone in the world, and that thought was so sad it made every single bit of his insides ache. He didn't know what he was planning on saying, or how he was going to make him feel better. He just knew he needed to get to him as fast as he could and hadn't prepared this far ahead. He cut across the car park, sprinting over the grass and stood a few unsure paces infront of him. Vyvyan was pulling so urgently on the cigarette in his mouth that the thick fog of smoke clouded all around his head, but he knew from how his eyes were all bloodshot and red and now fixed on the floor by his feet he was upset, either that or blind drunk which was more likely.

"Want some company?"

He'd meant to throw his arms around him and say something more comforting but that was the best he could come up with. Vyvyan wasn't meant to be the sad one. The look on his face didn't suit him and it was so out of character he didn't know what to say. Vyvyan didn't look up as he inhaled again, over and over until the cherry red embers soon blazed through the filter and burnt all the way to his fingers.

"Bastard!" Vyvyan threw the cigarette end in the grass, quickly lighting another in succession but still not looking up as he shrugged his slumped shoulders. "Yeah, if you want."

"Okay." Rick sat next to him on the top step, digging the toe of his boot in the crack of the paving slab nervously and wracking his brain for something to say next. Vyvyan exhaled with a loud rasp of a sigh and he reached to put a hand on his leg, running slight fingers in the rip of his jeans at the knee as he watched a queue of smoke - rings rise up in the air. "It is okay y'know Vyv, to feel sad I mean."

"Is that what I'm supposed to feel like?"

This time Rick was the one who shrugged. "I dunno. I think so. Although I don't blame you if you don't. H-how do you feel?" 

"Sober." Vyvyan answered, turning to face Rick and for the first time glancing down at the flowy white kaftan of Neil's that was gathered over his knees, the huge bell - bottomed flares that smothered his red boots and the tight tweed jacket of Mike's that was so small on him it barely covered both of his elbows. "Well, at least I thought I was bloody well sober but I might be mistaken! Bloody hell Rick, what on earth are you wearing?"

Rick smiled back, realising how rediculous he must have looked as Vyvyan laughed out another throaty vat of smoke. "I dunno really, I wasn't really looking. I just wanted to check, erm, make sure you're okay?"

"I'm okay. My god and nice trousers!"

Vyvyans smokey laughter and the playful nudge of his shoulder made everything better. He didn't mind being the butt of his joke for once as long as it helped. He stood up and rummaged in the overly - disgusting flares. "Oh yeah? Well you can take the mickey out of me all that you want, but I'm sure you'll be thanking me later. Drink?" When he triumphantly pulled Neil's wallet out of the pocket, Vyvyan smiled at him weakly and grabbed hold of his hand.

"Knew you'd be useful to keep around eventually. Happy anniversary, you bastard!"

*****

It was late that night when they eventually returned home and the house was already in darkness. They were both soaked to the skin, extremely drunk and both as equally determined to carry on arguing in the rain as Vyvyan fumbled in his pockets for the house keys. 

"Such a puff..."

"Shut up! That was all your fault, Vyvyan!"

"Shut up yourself! And don't just stand there. Help me then, or we'll never get the bloody door open!"

After struggling to focus on the keyhole, a few more minutes pushing and shoving and too much girly sobbing ringing hot in his ears, Vyvyan stood aside, letting the torrential rain collect in the upturned collar of his jacket as Rick barged past inside. He had thought about slamming the door in his face and leaving him to sleep on the doorstep in the cold but that seemed a bit unfair with everything Rick had done for him that day. He still couldn't bring himself to be that cruel even though he was now way beyond furious.

"Vyvyan? You can't leave it like this?" 

"M'going to bed.."

"Fine! Go then. I don't care!"

"Fine!"

Thank Cliff the others had gone to bed too, Rick thought, otherwise it would be pretty difficult to explain the state they had managed to get themselves in when Vyvyan didn't have any money and he didn't even drink! He threw himself down on the sofa, still wiping tears from his eyes as Vyvyan stormed upstairs in silence, dragging the stair carpet up with his boots and slamming the bathroom door so loudly he would probably need to apologise to the whole street in the morning.

Thump..

THUMP...

The next thump was even louder and it shook every wall of the house but Rick still didn't react. It was either Vyvyan falling unconscious or Neil having another go at rearranging his bedroom furniture in the dark. He knew buying that rediculous feing shui book for his birthday had been a mistake! Vyvyan was probably the most intoxicated he'd ever been, if he'd ever been sober since the day they met. Maybe his rose tinted spectacles hadn't just slipped, maybe they had been torn off, run over and stamped on and smashed to smithereens and he was finally seeing their relationship for what it was.

Over.

It had taken god knows how many minutes of rambling drunken pleading to convince Vyvyan to leave his beloved car in the car park. He knew driving whilst under the influence wasn't a very smart thing to do but he was starting to think they should have taken a chance and driven home after all. Maybe he should have snatched Vyvyans keys and driven his car but he probably wouldn't have been allowed. Vyvyan was angry enough as it was without doing something that extreme. He didn't want to provoke him any further but surely anything was better than this! 

It was only a question, that's all. Just a stupid simple question that had started the fight and as he curled into a ball on the sofa he winced as his fingers caught the throbbing graze on his cheek. It was starting to bleed out on the cushion and it really really hurt but that wasn't why he was crying. Never for a second had he imagined putting up with anyone long enough to have an anniversary and this wasn't how he wanted to celebrate. It was all such a great big mess!

'Are you sure you haven't had enough?'

He closed his eyes, remembering how Vyvyans had glazed over; tired and even more bloodshot and suddenly so lost and empty it had scared him to death. The way he held onto his shoulder as he gulped the last of his pint was like he wanted him - needed him there, as if he would never let him go, but of course that wasn't what he said. 'No! Of course I bloody haven't! God, you always want to spoil all my fun don't you? You bastard!'

'I'm not trying to spoil any of your fun, Vyv. I just want to make sure you're alright. It's okay to be upset coz your mum's..'

'It's got nothing to do with...that, and I'M NOT UPSET! I've told you three thousand times, Rick. I'm FINE! Urgh you're such a girl! Shut up and get me another drink.."

They had to be literally thrown out of The Kebab and Calculator after Vyvyan had refused point blank to leave. (He knew trying to bribe the new barmaid using only Neil's Greenpeace card and a five pence piece wouldn't work!) And by that time their drunken argument had escalated so rapidly they were still swaying and grabbing hold of each other for balance, still yelling insults whilst deliberately trying to leg each other up on the walk home. When Vyvyans well-timed stride had sent him tumbling face first into the road he was so angry he hadn't felt the injury straight away. It was only when Vyvyan sniggered instead of helping him up did he feel like resuming the fight. 

'So much for wanting to be a doctor, Vyvyan? So much for your non-existant bed-side manner? So much for a pleasant one year anniversary!'

It just wasn't fair! It wasn't his fault Vyvyans mum wasn't here anymore, not his fault he didn't know how to make it better. This was meant to be a good day. An amazing day. This wasn't supposed to happen!

He buried his face in the sofa, the bruise on his cheek only adding to the dull aching pain in his chest. Whoever said relationships were a good thing had obviously been very mistaken! It was what other people did: love. Just an excuse to conform to normal boring society, and since when did he ever think it was acceptable to do that?! Fascists! The punk and the poet had no business together. What the ruddy hell had he been thinking all this time?! He should have know better.

'Do you want to talk about why you've suddenly decided to drink yourself to death?!'

Silence.

'Would you rather we just had a scrap right here in the street and you can take it out on me instead?!' 

Silence.

'Go on, just punch me then if that's what you want, coz I can't take anymore of you like this!'

He replayed it over and over again until their argument was so vivid he could almost feel Vyvyan grab him by the neck of Neil's kaftan and his clenched fist pull back inches from his face. He had closed his eyes tight, cowered in fear and expected the full force of a punch he hadn't felt in a year to connect with a vengeance as stinging tears streamed down his cheeks. 'P-please, don't. I l-love..' He knew he needed to get it out of his system so hadn't even put up a fight. The very idea of Vyvyan in pain made him feel sicker than the countless guzzled babychams swirling around in his empty stomach. He also knew if he was ever going to snap him out of his desperate and furious rage then telling him he loved him was probably his best bet. If he could only get the words out in time...

'What? You love me? Well, I always thought you were stupid...'

His tears quickly morphed into desperate heaving sobs until the cuision cover was all damp and bloody. That was all Vyvyan had said before he left him in the road. He hadn't said it back. For the first time in one whole year he hadn't said it back, didn't feel the same, the bastard! 

*****

Vyvyan had been sat on the pub steps for the best part of an hour before Rick arrived, debating whether or not to go inside for some much needed dutch courage and smoking his way furiously through his last packet of cigarettes. He didn't care if he couldn't afford any more until monday. He didn't care if he could barely afford one drink. He just knew he never wanted to care about anything ever EVER again.... until he saw the familiar figure standing nervously infront of him. Rick didn't say much but he didn't have to. His eyes didn't need to strain through the thick nicotine-stained air to know instantly it was him. There was no one else it could have been. No one else would come to look for him and no one else would even bother to ask:

''Want some company?''

He wanted to explain everything as he threw his arms around him. Tell him how grateful he was. Rugby tackle him to the ground in a hug until they both rolled around in the grass. But he couldn't move. Those feelings were still far to soppy to admit to, especially with everything that had happened that morning. 

''Yeah, if you want.''

''Okay.''

Rick sat next to him on the top step and dug the toe of his boot in the crack in the paving slab. He didn't say anything else but Vyvyan didn't care. He didn't care if he never said another word. He'd already done enough just by being there and he made everything better instantly simply by dressing, and looking, like a compleate and utter prat.

He had told Mike - between stuffing a cigarette in his mouth in the doorway of the newsagents and trying to hold back the mixture of unwelcomed tears and rage - that he'd rather be by himself. Now he wasn't so sure. This time last year Rick was the very last person he'd expect to be here at a time like this, and the last person in the world he'd want distracting him from doing some serious drinking. Now everything was different.

Now he didn't have to be alone.

*****

When his eyes opened and began to focus, Vyvyan wasn't sure where he was. He knew he had crashed out somewhere on the floor, he knew he was still fully clothed in sopping wet denim, and he knew that something bad - other than the death of his mum, had happened. He eventually made it to his feet, swaying and grabbing for the sink and catching a flash of himself in the reflection of the mirror. His complexion looked paler than usual, his hair was soaked flat to his head in gelled spikes and the immediate lurch of sadness was already threatening to burst from his eyes.

Bloody Rick! 

He ran the cold tap and drank from it urgently, all the time thinking of the argument he had stupidly created over nothing. Rick had been nothing but nice, more than nice, and as usual his reaction was to shove him away. He frowned and re-spiked his mohawk, spitting the pure taste of alcohol and regret down the drain where it belonged.

So what if his mum had died?! He didn't care. They hadn't seen each other since last Christmas anyway and he hadn't needed her then. She'd been nothing but horrible to Rick from the start and although he sometimes deserved it, that was the final straw. Being horrible to Rick was his job. No one else was allowed to do that! It wasn't his fault Rick was too much of a wimp to fight back, wasn't his fault he was a stupid girly puff and couldn't handle a few babychams and it wasn't his bloody fault he had done something bad and it had hurt his feelings and made him cry.....

Fuck!

He dried his face and scrubbed his hair with a towel, stripping all his clothes off in a swirling staggering heap and attempting to keep upright as he dried himself off. He hadn't heard if Rick had climbed the stairs and gone to bed before him. In his drunken stupor he probably wouldn't have heard a thing if the whole house was being demolished with a wrecking ball. He checked their bedroom and Rick's old room too and found nothing in either, nothing but an empty made bed, the pulled back rug and the usual loose plank of floorboard: Rick's so-called 'top secret' place for hiding back issues of Cosmopolitan and his old diaries. Sneaking into his room and reading his stupid poems and rambling thoughts was always good for a laugh so he didn't hesitate to grab his latest and thumb through to yesterday's date.

He grinned and fell down on his bed, still naked and draping Rick's girly silk dressing gown around himself as he tried to focus on the page. There was a small heart-shaped doodle in the corner and the writing around it scribbled over and over that many times that each letter had carved into the paper:

'Rick ♡s Vyv'

He ignored that. The soppy git!

The rest of the page was nothing but a dusty mass of scribbles that proved even harder to read in his inebriated state. Some of the words were hard to make out but he understood what it said. The meaning stood out like each letter was burning onto his eyeballs one by one. Yeah, that was probably the reason why they were suddenly leaking down his face.

~We had such a great time at the____ today and Vyvyan was so funny when that girl was flirting with me (which she definitely was, I don't care what Neil says!) I LOVE it when he gets all_____ like that. He's great when he does that thing where____________coz like I was saying to Mike in the_____ I wouldn't even look at anyone else anyway, not the way I look at him. Not even____Cliff Richard! Why would I when he's the most______ person in the room. Vyvyan is_____ and so________ and I just really really really really really really (he skipped over a few paragraphs)

really really really____ him so much!~

He grabbed for a biro on Ricks bedside table, quickly replacing Vyvyan is 'amazing' and 'gorgeous' with 'stupid' and 'sorry,' wiping his eyes on the dressing gown as he shrugged himself into it and passed out again, face down in the diary and amongst his annoyingly perfect boyfriend's handwriting.

"Vyv! What are you doing in my bed? And in my dressing gown? And in my bloody diary too!? They all have my name on them y'know!? That means it's my personal property!"

He stirred and tutted, feeling the bottom of the bed sag down by his feet and the sharp snatch of paper rip out from under his cheek. "Ow! I fell asleep. Sorry. I'll leave you alone." He lept up quickly, still spinning and slurring, bolting for the door so Rick couldn't see he was upset.

"Wait a minute..What's wrong with your face?"

"Nothing." He tried to wrestle out of his grip but it was surprisingly difficult for once. Perhaps he didn't want to leave as much as he thought. Not that he'd admit it.. 

"Yeah there is. Come here, let me look at you.."

"Leave me alone!" He watched Rick stifle a giggle as he reached to stroke his hair and that was enough. "Alright! Fine! I'm sorry I get angry, OKAY?! I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm a selfish bastard. You can do loads better and I apologise alright!? God, I hope you feel better now!? You always go out of your way to make me feel like a stupid soppy infatuated lovesick IDIOT and I HATE IT! I hate that you have to see me like this and I bloody hate that you think it's so funny!" Rick's sympathetic smile flung his insides upside down so violently he couldn't hold it in any longer. He had NEVER cried infront of anyone before except for his mum, but that was different. He was only seven years old. Losing his mum hadn't ruined everything. Losing his mum didn't mean he had nothing left, and losing his mum wouldn't smash his heart into a thousand million obliterated pieces! (Maybe a slight exaggeration but he was very drunk so figured it was okay.) Rick seemed to sense how uneasy he felt and he watched him turn away and pull open a drawer. 

"You don't understand. I'm not laughing at you, Vyv. Just take a look at yourself.."

Vyvyan rolled his eyes as he was offered a small hand mirror. Of course Rick would have one, the girl! His heart was still racing and his head remained spinning as he turned to the light and held it up to his face. This had gone far enough now. He had no interest in letting his guard down any further and absolutely no intention of being this vulnerable again. "What. The. Fu....What have you done to me?!" It was too ironic, too rediculous and too late to stop himself smiling. It was staring back at him. As plain as day. Bold and clear and imprinted in his skin:

Rick ♡s Vyv

Rick watched him lick his finger and try and scrub it away but knew it wasn't going anywhere for a while. Vyvyan would just have to wear it and get used to it until he understood what it meant. No matter how tough he liked to think he was, right now he couldn't knock the skin off of one of Neil's disgusting lentil casseroles, and that was okay.

"So, does this mean I'm yours too then?" Vyvyan sighed, giving up trying to deny what was so obvious it was written all over his face.

Rick just smiled and cuddled into his back. "Well, it sure looks that way."

"I read what you wrote about me yesterday." Vyvyan didn't pull away, even though the sleeves crossing around his middle were wet through and the hands settling on his hipbones were freezing.

"Hmm, thought you might. Do you believe me now?" Rick smiled in the nape of his neck and pulled him closer. He liked the way it felt holding Vyvyan like this; feeling his whole body relax in his arms. It was usually the other way around and as soon as his lips brushed the back of his hairline and Vyvyan exhaled and nodded he realised he was starting to really REALLY like it. He fought off his drunken lust and ignored his increasing arousal, saying the first thing he could think of to promptly change the subject. "So, do you still want this to end?"

"No." Vyvyan replied without a beat of hesitation, turning towards him and grabbing both of his wrists as he pulled him into a hard kiss. "You don't get off that bloody lightly! You'll go out with me until you bloody well start enjoying it!"

Rick held onto his hands and tried his best to keep his inappropriate thoughts to himself. He shouldn't be gazing into his eyes at a time like this, thinking about how good he looked wearing his dressing gown. He really shouldn't be imagining ripping it off him in a frenzy of panting breaths, or pinning him on the bed and licking him all over until he was a hot and sticky trembling mess.......Blimey! Drinking alcohol really did make him lose control! "Is there anything else I can do for you, Vyvyan? Before I go to bed." He stepped back, ignoring how the thin wet material moulded perfectly to his bum and stuck skin-tight around the tops of his thighs.

"Actually yeah. Two things. Wait here." Vyvyan dashed out the door, still banging into the wall and knocking a spindle from the bannister with every few steps as Rick sat back on the bed. Yesterday's diary page was still open and he couldn't help but notice Vyvyans recent 'alterations.' He wouldn't hide it from him anymore. "First I want you to wear this. Stand up." He turned over a new page and did as he was told.

"What is it?"

"Don't freak out, okay?"

"Why?"

"I mean it, Rick. Say it."

"I promise I won't freak out." He tutted, "Why? What is it?"

"See for yourself." Vyvyan thrust the envelope he'd been given at the hospital into Rick's hands. He didn't want to keep anything that reminded him of his mum and this was pretty much all that was left of any value that she hadn't had a chance to pawn. This way he didn't have to be reminded of the past. This way it would always be a good memory. This way it made perfect sense.

"It's a.."

"Yeah."

"But, Vyv, it's a..."

"Yeah?"

"But, this is real?" 

"Yes, of course it's real..." 

"You're seriously giving me an actual?"

"Yes! But it's not how you think, at least I don't think it is. You'd better ask me again when I'm sober.."

"W-wedding ring..."

"Rick, I said don't freak out, okay? I've had seventeen pints! I could sober up any second and realise what the hell I'm doing. It was my mum's - well, my dad's, and it's no use to me. So you have it. Wear it. Maybe this time next year you'll stop thinking that I'd ever forget the stupid date."

It took everything Rick had just to keep himself together and keep the dizzying rush of emotions from bursting out of his mouth. He swallowed every bit of them and took a deep calming breath. Whatever it was Vyvyan was asking or not asking, whether he was serious or not, he could hardly believe this was happening and certainly wasn't about to say no. "Alright. I will."

"Good. Am glad. Now hopefully I won't have to brand it onto YOUR forehead when you're asleep! Hopefully you'll believe me too?"

He giggled, swallowed, breathed, tried not to overreact and stare at one of Vyvyans extremely rare sincere smiles and his madly blushing cheeks as he tried the ring on his finger. "Aw Vyvyan, I do!... Believe you, I mean! Erm.." He cringed, watching Vyvyans eyebrow arch knowingly and his teeth nip in his lower lip. "I didn't mean, it.. like..that..Erm, w-what's the second thing you want me to do?" 

Vyvyan grinned at Rick's expression. It still cheered him up no - end to see him stuttering and speachless, especially when it was followed with a great big gorgeous beaming smile like that. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all. Maybe it was a good one? Maybe it was the best idea he'd ever had, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad or too soppy if he suddenly felt so dizzy his knees gave out and he would have to kneel down on the floor... He'd have to give it all some serious thought in the morning but for now it could wait, at least until he could sober up enough to read Rick's thoughts on it tomorrow. He scooped a swathe of Neil's knee-length kaftan up around his waist and pinged at the elastic waistband of the flares."Dunno yet, but I'm bloody glad you asked! I'm sure I'll think of something once I get you out of these wet clothes."


End file.
